"...i cannot be awake for nothing looks to me as it did before,
or else i am awake for the first time
and all before has been a mean sleep..."
Walt Whitman
Hello. My name is Phoenix Riddle and I am an 18 year old media studies student from Glasgow, Scotland. I decided to start writing this blog because I find it hard to talk to people in my life about things that are bothering me and I thought this would be a good way to get things out. I guess what really prompted this, however, is that since starting college in September a lot of things in my life have changed and I really feel that I need someone (or something) to talk to.
You see, before starting college I didnt drink, I didnt smoke, I'd never taken any drugs and I was still a virgin. All those things changed in the space of about 2 months and everything seems to have just gone downhill. It's not fun anymore. I dont even know who I am now. I feel like I can't cope and I've started self-harming again, something I managed to stop when I was 15. I've been through a lot of hard times in my life but I honestly dont think i've ever been as depressed as I am right now, although that could just be the massive come-down i'm on from the pills I took last night. I don't know what to do.
